Although breakups occur often in our culture, we don’t seem to know how to handle them well.
In spite of our years of experience and observation, they still throw us into states of confusion and shock. I suppose this makes sense. Separating from someone with whom you’ve shared memories, emotions, and hope for a future together can devastate a person, and there’s no easy way to avoid the pain that naturally stems from the divide. The situation only grows more uncomfortable as questions begin to surface in your mind (Was I not good enough? Did I miss my shot at happiness?). The cliched phrase “Time heals all wounds” often summarizes the hope of the hurting individual.
I think the Bible has some profound truths for the newly single believer. I pray these reminders will encourage you today to look up, to suffer well, and to hope in God.
1. God cares for you.
Throughout his earthly ministry, Jesus showed deep compassion for hurting people. He healed the sick, comforted the anxious, and encouraged the downcast. He, as “the image of the invisible God” (Colossians 1:15), reminds us of the Father’s unfailing care and concern for his people. In your suffering, run to him and rest. Cast your cares upon him, for he cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). He is not cold or indifferent to your pain.
2. Your pain is temporary.
Romans 8:16 speaks of the fleeting nature of suffering in this world compared to the eternal glories of God that will be revealed. No matter how deep your hurt or how long your season of suffering, it shall pass. As the psalmist writes, “Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning” (Psalm 30:5). So do not lose heart; rather, hope in God.
3. God causes even this to work for good.
Romans 8:28 reminds us that nothing happens outside of God’s control. Nothing catches him off guard. Therefore, though this situation may blindside you, God is not surprised. Furthermore, he will work through this for your good and for his glory. So do not fret, but trust him. He will not waste your pain.
4. In your greatest weakness, God’s sufficiency is revealed.
Maybe you’ve pleaded with God to take the pain away. Maybe you’ve cried for understanding in the midst of the confusion. Know you’re not alone in your struggle. Paul wrestled with weakness, praying for deliverance. Yet God chose not to remove the thorn. Instead, he taught Paul to rest in his divine sufficiency in the midst of Paul’s own weakness (2 Corinthians 12:8-10). So when you feel as if your pain will never leave, remember that your weakness is an opportunity to experience God’s sustaining power.
5. You have worth and purpose that extends far beyond your relationship status.
You may feel directionless, uncertain of your future and unsure of your worth. Your world may appear to have crumbled, and you may be left feeling lost and broken. But when Paul addressed singles and couples in 1 Corinthians 7, he did not place one group above the other. He chose instead to emphasize the common mission of both groups: undivided devotion to the Lord in the cause of the kingdom. So do not believe the lie that your life is reducible to a relationship status. God created you and saved you for more than marriage.
These five points are not exhaustive, nor are they solutions to suffering. Pain is nearly unavoidable this side of the fall. But you need not let the pain overshadow the truth that you are deeply loved. In this season, as in all seasons of suffering, God’s truth holds. Go with God, then, and be blessed.