I don’t understand, but I know God is still good.

I’ve felt off for some time now. I spend time in Bible study and in prayer, writing my thoughts and prayers in my journal, but I still feel cold. I find myself struggling to rest in the Lord, so I fill my time with distractions. I seek peace and joy in the presence of my God, but I still feel distant. Nothing I do seems to bring the comfort for which I long.

But God does not change. In the midst of changing seasons, through times of closeness and times of distance, times of overflowing cups and times of desert heat, the Lord remains good, holy, loving, sovereign, and able to sustain me.

So I follow the example of the psalmist, calling to mind truths I know but don’t feel. I pray for the season to end, but I pray too for patience to wait until it’s finished. I grow tired, but I pray for the Lord to accomplish the work, to complete the lesson. And I’m encouraged by friends who pray and remind me of truth, by songs of those who have walked these paths before me, by a Savior whose blood has made me new and has granted me an unshakable foundation.

I wait for the Lord. I wait imperfectly, restlessly, weakly, but I wait. And I pray for truth to flood my mind and heart when feelings of fervency seem far off, seeking to be faithful to God’s call in the midst of uncertainty and fear.

Even in the dry seasons, he remains.

Photo by Aleksei Алексей Simonenko Симоненко on Unsplash